Soul Mates
by ItsKay2010
Summary: After watching 4x12 I wanted to write about how Spencer would react to hearing Derek say "I dont know what its like to be in love with another man"


A/N: I know I have a few WIP stories, I have come to realize that I am better with one shots or stories that are just a few chapters long. I will try to continue to work on those but I cannot promise anything.

This story takes place after 4x12 "Soul Mates"

And let's begin…

* * *

Derek didn't know what he did wrong, Spencer hadn't said anything to him that wasn't work related in over a day. He tried to think back to what he had said to the younger man, he couldn't think of a single thing that wasn't out of the ordinary. Finally Derek decided to say something about it. The darker man walked up to Spence's desk while everyone else was at lunch or busy with other things.

"Hey Pretty Boy" Derek said with a smile, trying to hide the fear of loosing his baby.

"Hello Morgan" That reply was cold, shut off. It screamed 'leave me alone' but Derek wouldn't listen, he couldn't.

"There's something wrong." Derek pointed out, Spencer just stared at him a 'no shit' look on his face. "Please baby, tell me what is bothering you so I can fix it."

"I'm not going to talk about it here… or ever Derek." With that Spencer got up walked to the restroom his heart shattering even more with each step away from the only person he loved. He wasn't sure there was any coming back from this.

Once he was in the bathroom he locked the door and sat on the floor and finally after days of numbness he felt himself cracking. He didn't care he was sitting on the bathroom floor of the FBI, he was broken, he cried until he didn't think he had anything left then he sat on the floor thinking of the last year and a half. How could he be so blind, Derek never really loved him.

A knock on the bathroom door brought him out of his thoughts. "Pretty boy?" _Great_ Spencer thought to himself _why doesn't he just GO AWAY._ "You've been in there for a while, are you feeling okay?"

"Reid? Do you need to go home? We don't have a case lined up so if your case files are almost done you can." Hotch offered, presumably next to Derek.

"I think I should probably go home" Spencer said weakly, willing the tears to stay down for just a little bit.

Spencer wasn't aware that Hotch noticed the tension between the two younger men of his team; although they hadn't come out he knew there was something more then they were letting on, he hoped there wasn't anything wrong between the two.

* * *

Derek pulled into the driveway of the house that he had shared with Spence over the last year, them living together wasn't official but Spencer had spent more time there than at his own apartment. He had hoped that Spencer would talk now that they were alone.

"Spencer, baby I'm home" Derek said loudly, hearing his voice bounce back to him. He frowned to himself when he got no reply. "Shit." He mumbled mainly to himself as he shook his head and walked to the garage to check for the other mans car.

When Derek noticed there was no car in the garage he ran out the door and back into his SUV and drove to Spencer's apartment, fighting tears the whole way there., replaying the last few days in his mind _what have I done. I can't lose him._ Finally pulling into the complex he used the spare keys that the younger one had given him. As he went to open the door it was stopped by the chain lock

"Baby please, let me in we need to talk this over." Derek pleaded his voice cracking more with each word that he spoke. He saw his love walking around the room.

"Go away. I don't want to talk about it." Spencer stated. His stare cold through the small crack in the door.

Derek sighed, feeling defeated. "Okay, then please listen?" Derek waited a second waiting for Reid to object before continuing. "Spencer Walter Reid, I have no idea what is wrong but I cannot fathom losing you. You, and you alone, are my whole world, I would do anything you asked of me." Derek paused, trying to get his emotions in check; he could say what he needed to say if he started crying. "I am willing to do anything to see you smile again, I can't stand that you are obviously hurting and there is nothing that I can do to fix it." Another pause, he saw Spencer still standing there in the crack of the door he could tell Spencer's arms were crossed over his chest. Derek prayed that he would get through to the love of his life. "You know, Babe, I never thought I deserved to be as happy as you made me these last few years. I never thought I would be here, so deeply in love with someone that I would risk everything" At that Spencer scoffed, Derek's eyes got wide, it's been a long time since Spencer doubted his love "Spencer? Do you not believe me? I love you. Only you."

"Do you, Derek?" Spence took a step towards the door since he was whispering, his voice betraying him, he wanted to sound strong and sure of himself, he didn't think that was happening.

"Yes. Why do you think otherwise Pretty Boy?" He waited for a response "I would shout it from the rooftops if you would let me."

"I heard what you said Derek." Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat "To Harris" he clarified, looking at the floor now, willing his heart to stop shattering as he thought over the words that have been haunting him, day and night. Finally looking up, his cheeks tear stained, he looked at the only person he loved, the only person who broke down his walls, and the only person capable of breaking his heart into millions of pieces like it was now.

"Spencer, you know I had to say whatever I had to, to break him down. I never meant those words." Derek whispered tears freely streaming down his cheeks.

"Derek it was pretty convincing, almost like we were nothing. Like I meant nothing. Like I was just some notch to add to your bedpost." Spencer sighed "You need to go Derek. I can't do this. Not tonight."

"I'm not leaving until we talk this out Spencer, can you please let me in? I need to know how to make this better." Derek said as Spencer walked away. "Please baby, I want to show you how much you mean to me. Show you I never meant those words. Let you know that you mean everything to me." Derek hoped Spencer would come back he never did.

* * *

Spencer woke up the next morning after a fitful night of sleep, if that's what you could call it. He sighed looking at the walls in his apartment; it's been 6 months and 24 days since he woke up here. He got up and walked into his living room, noticing the door was still cracked open from his talk with Derek, his heart clinched at the thought of him. Spencer went to shut the door, only it didn't move. He unlocked the chain and the door slammed against the wall and Derek fell back into the apartment.

Derek startled awake, realizing he was on his back lying in the hall of Spencer's apartment. "Derek, did you really stay out there all night?" Derek nodded his head in a response.

"I meant everything I said last night Spencer; I'm not leaving until we make this right." Derek said as he stood up from his position on the floor. "I love you Baby. I never meant to hurt you, or make you doubt that what we have is real." Derek tentatively brushed his thumb against Spencer's cheek trying to wipe away the tear stains. "I will do anything to prove it to you, even if we have to start all over again. If that means you'll trust me again I will do it all over again." Derek sighed as he looked into his pretty boy's eyes, "I love you"

"I love you too Derek" Spencer sighed "I just don't know if we can go back to what it was before, those words still haunt me. But, I will try to forget, remind myself it's not the truth" Spencer moved closer to Derek, who opened his arms for the smaller man.

"I'm sorry Baby. I'll try to watch what I say with UnSubs from now on." Derek moved to kiss Spencer on the forehead knowing it would be a while until Spencer would fully trust him again.

* * *

Part 2?

Any suggestions on who/ what I should write. I have a lot of spare time on my hands now.


End file.
